- I'm a morokanth and I'm okay,
I eat all night and I sleep all day.
- (Chorus): He's a morokanth, etc.
- I piss on trees, I squeal and grunt,
I sit and scratch my bums.
I like to go to parties,
And cut off people's thumbs!
- He pisses, etc.
I'm a tigerson, I'm easily bored,
You can't hurt me with your big broadsword.
- He's a tigerson, etc.
- I change my shape, I hiss and snarl,
I stretch and lick my fur.
I'm crazy about catnip,
And fresh blood makes me purr!
- He changes, etc.
I'm a minotaur, I'm big of heart
Built like an ox, and almost as smart.
- He's a minotaur, etc.
- I go berserk, I stamp and snort,
I like to grind my axe.
I'm friendly with the ladies,
Make love, and break their backs!
- He goes berserk, etc.
I'm a dragonewt and I'm unique,
I die today and come back next week.
- He's a dragonewt, etc.
- I worship rocks, I squat and hiss,
I'm loyal to my kin.
I like to torture people,
Who take away my skin!
- He worships rocks, etc.
I'm a walktapus, I'm really deft,
I lose one limb, have eleven left.
- He's a walktapus, etc.
- I've got no brains, I gas and squeeze,
I gurgle as I munch.
I eat babies for breakfast,
And older folk for lunch!
- He's got no brains, etc.
I'm a trollkin and I'm kinda crude,
I'm small and weak, my big brothers' food.
- He's a trollkin, etc.
- I'm puny, dumb, gutless and blind,
I cower in my hut.
The other trolls ignore me,
Except to kick my butt!
- He's puny, etc.
I'm a hairy broo and I'm chaotic;
I don't care much for rhyme or scansion either.
- He's a hairy broo and he's chaotic;
He doesn't care ... da-da-dee-da-dum.
- I lurk and leap, I carry plague,
I revel in the swamp.
I've got no friends and I like it that way.
Stop singing about me or I'll eat you.
- He lurks and leaps ... AKK! (crunch, crunch)