I'm a Morokanth

by Forrest Johnson and Steve Jackson
(with apologies to Monty Python & Co.)

I'm a morokanth and I'm okay,
I eat all night and I sleep all day.
(Chorus): He's a morokanth, etc.
I piss on trees, I squeal and grunt,
I sit and scratch my bums.
I like to go to parties,
And cut off people's thumbs!
He pisses, etc.

I'm a tigerson, I'm easily bored,
You can't hurt me with your big broadsword.

He's a tigerson, etc.
I change my shape, I hiss and snarl,
I stretch and lick my fur.
I'm crazy about catnip,
And fresh blood makes me purr!
He changes, etc.

I'm a minotaur, I'm big of heart
Built like an ox, and almost as smart.

He's a minotaur, etc.
I go berserk, I stamp and snort,
I like to grind my axe.
I'm friendly with the ladies,
Make love, and break their backs!
He goes berserk, etc.

I'm a dragonewt and I'm unique,
I die today and come back next week.

He's a dragonewt, etc.
I worship rocks, I squat and hiss,
I'm loyal to my kin.
I like to torture people,
Who take away my skin!
He worships rocks, etc.

I'm a walktapus, I'm really deft,
I lose one limb, have eleven left.

He's a walktapus, etc.
I've got no brains, I gas and squeeze,
I gurgle as I munch.
I eat babies for breakfast,
And older folk for lunch!
He's got no brains, etc.

I'm a trollkin and I'm kinda crude,
I'm small and weak, my big brothers' food.

He's a trollkin, etc.
I'm puny, dumb, gutless and blind,
I cower in my hut.
The other trolls ignore me,
Except to kick my butt!
He's puny, etc.

I'm a hairy broo and I'm chaotic;
I don't care much for rhyme or scansion either.

He's a hairy broo and he's chaotic;
He doesn't care ... da-da-dee-da-dum.
I lurk and leap, I carry plague,
I revel in the swamp.
I've got no friends and I like it that way.
Stop singing about me or I'll eat you.
He lurks and leaps ... AKK! (crunch, crunch)

Last updated 27 May 96 drd

Info Plaza David Dunham Page | Glorantha Page